Saturday, May 13, 2006 ++

Incredulous how Chemistry is the only thing I think about these days...



"Hell is empty and all the devils are here."
- William Shakespeare, “The Tempest”


The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave, therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman Year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

This student received the only "A".



And I took a Tickles test (stop looking at my entry with raised eyebrows).

Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection.

You got that right.
7:10 PM

Wednesday, May 10, 2006 ++

I took the liberty of chronicling my escapades in the Analysis of the Unknown. You will find that organic chemicals more vehemently attack my coherence than formalin.

Odor Test - Ester?
Sulfur Test - Negative
What the-?! Nakakasunog ng mata ang fumes.
Nitrogen Test - Negative
Halogen Test - Negative
Solubility Test:
Water - Immiscible
Sodium Hydroxide - immiscible
Hydrochloric acid - Immiscible
Sulfuric Acid - Immiscible
pH - 3?
pH - 5?
Silver Nitrate Test - Acidic
Beilstein Test - Negative
Nitration Test - Positive
Le Rosen Test - Positive
Boiling Point - 166
Odor Test - Amoy hipon
Toluene?
*takbo sa DPSM*
Sir? Toluene po ba?
Hindi. Have faith.
Once chance gone... *umuwing luhaan*
Solubility
Sodium Hydroxide - Immiscible
Hydrochloric Acid - Immiscible
Sulfuric Acid - Immiscible
Phosphoric Acid - Immiscible
Group 10?! E bakit acidic?!
Octanol - Soluble
Ferric Chloride Test - Negative
Reaction of Carboxylic Acid and Alcohol - Negative
Reaction with Sodium Metal - Positive
Alcohol?
Lucas Test - Positive
*spark of hope*
Reaction with Potassium Dichromate Negative
Tert-butyl!
2,4 - DNPH Test - Positive
*crestfallen*
Schiff's Test - Negative?
*biglang narinig sa kabilang group*
Other Group, Member 1: Ano? Postive sa Le Rosen?
Same color as result in Le Rosen!
Other Group, Member 2: Hindi. Negative.
*panic*
Le Rosen Test - Negative
E di ibig sabihin...
Nitration Test - Negative
Baeyer Test - Positive
Hydroxamic Acid Test - Negative
*losing hope*
Blockmate: Baka ester
Hydrolysis of Ester - Negative
Kuya? Penge ng acetone?
Odor Test - Oh hinde
*konsulta*
Pedring: 2,4 - DNPH is the most reliable test.
*akyat*
*pinila ang aldehydes*
1. Benzaldehyde
2. Formaldehyde
3. Actalde-
Saan na?
*hanap*
Memory: Di kaya ng medicine dropper ang acetaldehyde
Prospects:
1. Benzaldehyde
2. Formaldehyde
*di mabuksan ang Benzaldehyde... walang lakas...*
*takbo kay Lolo*
*binuksan niya na parang nag-tanghalian*
Odor Test... Tagumpay!
*takbo sa DPSM*
*hesitation*
*doubt*
*shiver*
*hesitation*
*doubt*
*shiver*
*hesitation*
*doubt*
*shiver*
*hesitation*
*doubt*
*shiver*
*hesitation*
*doubt*
*shiver*
*hesitation*
*doubt*
*shiver*
*hesitation*
*doubt*
*shiver*
*hesitation*
*doubt*
*shiver*
*hesitation*
*doubt*
*shiver*
Pedring: Take a leap of faith.
Amen
Sir? Benzaldehyde?
*an eternity lapses*
Yes. It is benzaldehyde.
*tingin sa vial*
Kala mo di kita makikilala ha. But no. You tried to trick me. But no.
*alay ng itlog kay St. Claire*

End Result:
Org Chem - Passed
Cancer - Positive

*bow*
4:11 PM

Saturday, May 06, 2006 ++

Kahit na mala-Inferno sa RH 231 ng tanghaling-tapat...
Kahit na masakit matuluan ng concentrated sulfuric acid...
Kahit na ba himatayin ako sa kakalanghap ng benzyl chloride...

Okay lang...

Masaya pa rin ang araw ko.

Dahil...

Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:39:05 PM): oy cy
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:39:09 PM): may kukwento ako sayo
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:10 PM): huwat?
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:11 PM): ano?
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:39:17 PM): may crush ako sa school!
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:24 PM): gasp!!!!!!
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:26 PM): ano kamo!?
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:29 PM): *smiley na di makapaniwala*
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:39:29 PM): oo!
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:39:38 PM): crush ko yung chem lab prof namin!!!!!
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:42 PM): ay pota
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:43 PM): tangina
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:48 PM): akala ko naman ka-age natin
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:50 PM): tssss.....
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:39:52 PM): hahahaha
Cy (5/7/2006 7:39:54 PM): eh bakit mo naman ba crush?
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:39:59 PM): kasi ang cute niya
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:00 PM): dahil ba mahaba ang balbas?
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:40:05 PM): hindi hindi
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:40:08 PM): 21 pa lang siya eh
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:40:13 PM): tapos ang cute niya
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:40:16 PM): kasi bakla siya
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:40:19 PM): AWWWWWWWWWWW
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:19 PM): my gosh
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:22 PM): sabihin ko sana
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:29 PM): "wow!!!! 21 years old! close enough!!!"
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:33 PM): tapos yun pala bading
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:36 PM): tae ng kalabaw....
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:40:44 PM): ang cute talaga niya!
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:48 PM): hahahaha
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:40:49 PM): tapos sobrang talino pa niya
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:52 PM): ako rin may bading na prof
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:40:54 PM): kasi biochem siya
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:55 PM): may itsura sana
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:58 PM): kaso nga bading
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:40:59 PM): tapos magna cum laude
Cy (5/7/2006 7:40:59 PM): too bad
Cy (5/7/2006 7:41:02 PM): huwaw
Cy (5/7/2006 7:41:03 PM): smart
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:41:06 PM): ganyan rin ang crush ko
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:41:10 PM): sabi ng mga kablock ko
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:41:13 PM): kung hindi siya
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:41:15 PM): bading
Sister Anne (5/7/2006 7:41:18 PM): gwapo siya

Heartness.
10:44 PM

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