Friday, September 29, 2006 ++
I feel like a zombie these days. No, more like that auto-Adam Sandler character in Click who eats, laughs and holds conversations but doesn't really absorb any of his experiences in. I hate it. And I hate the fact that I have to go all emo because of this. I've been thinking too much, staring off to space, and talking to myself more often these past few weeks. This is sort of like a retreat. We're on the same ground, ma cherie. Sort of. Gawd. Someone lock this psycho up. I need my "triumverate therapy". 1:06 PM
Sunday, September 10, 2006 ++
Written on September 7, 2006:
Sweet sixteen. This phrase can never be flawed as much as in my case. Because the day I turned seventeen, life just got all the more saccharine than I had ever hoped and imagined. *dreamy sigh* Let me shed light on my strange ramblings.
I was cherishing my last hour as a sixteen-year-old. Although I have always been the party, gift and cake enthusiast, I have never been eager to turn a year older. If you must know, I am the epitome of juvenility. The prospect of adulthood just makes me slightly queasy. Adulthood invites maturity and weightiness, two things that are just beyond me. I think infantile behavior is a facet of me that will always linger. Or at least, the liberal-to-the-point-of-radical, languid, crazy, imaginative, unconventional, "totoy" me whose lifestyle I have grown to love and enjoy. However, there is this fatal tendency for people to expect that you would outlive your childish ways as you approach adulthood. Losing that would mean losing a huge chunk of my personality. But anyway, I forgot my purpose. I just got too caught up typing whatever words that flow out of me right now. I have this sudden burst of energy which is more than Van Gogh's Starry Night could depict. What inspired such zeal, you ask? Before I got sidetracked with my melodrama on youth and aging, I was talking about how I sacrificed an hour of my sleeping time to seize the lingering moments of my sixteen-ness. My indomitable Carpe Diem mantra was wavering bit by bit as sleep tried to take over me. To keep myself awake, I tried forming birthday wishes in my head. I had about a hundred materialistic desires and a hundred more perverted ones (which included Brandon in a fish tank, as always). It was inevitable for me to consider Pedring. I had hoped that he would greet me on my birthday. Out of all the wishes I thought of, it was probably the most possible one to come true since he is the most accessible compared to all of my crushes (which are all inaccessible). But still, I thought, it was too much to hope for. So I contented myself with yearning that tomorrow, he would wear a pink shirt and wave at me.
I was passing by the first floor of GAB when I heard my dormmate and her friend call me from behind. They greeted me and then enthusiastically pointed at a figure. It was Pedring. Wearing pink. COOLNESS. So a bunch of other pleasant events came to pass... extra punch and red tea... photo frenzy... girl talk... cancelled class... Then my friends decided to give me their present and let me open it on the spot. I opened it from the back. It was a blue picture frame. When I turned it around, LO AND BEHOLD! I saw Pedring smiling, chinky-eyed and glasses oddly angled, at me. I groped inside the box and found a yellow post-it with a LO-HO AND BEHOLD! happy birthday greeting for me by Pedring. What pretty handwriting. As if that's not enough, one of my blockmates took a video of the moment when he wrote the reverential message. He even waved and greeted me! Super kilig moment. May pa-shy effect pa. Pacute pero well, cute naman talaga siya. "It was the greatest shock of my life." (St. Ryan, 2006) I wanted to say "thank you" for bearing the harassment my blockmates subjected him to and for actually agreeing to go through all that fuss. I attended one of his Org Chem classes with my blockmates. But I had to go home before his class ended because my parents picked me up. After a hellishly long stay in the car (curse floods and traffic), I arrived in the dorm and ate dinner. Afterwards, I received a text message from one of my blockmates. Apparently, Pedring LOOKED for my companion and me right after his class ended. Mali. Eto ang "greatest shock of my life". Dizizit.
Yeahboi. Happy Bertdey.
Yesterday, it took me four whole hours to write two double-spaced papers which amounted to five pages all in all in Arial 12 font. It was not easy. I had to really squeeze the words out of me. It is astounding that I wrote more than a page of single-spaced text using size 12 Times New Roman font effortlessly in less than eight minutes. 4:29 PM
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